120th Boston Marathon

Monday, April 28th I ran the 120th Boston Marathon. It was my third Boston Marathon, my 7th marathon ever, and my first after losing Kate.

It wasn’t a great run. It was hard from the very beginning. My legs never felt right, and quickly became cramped and tired as I ran the challenging and hilly Boston course.
My plan was to enjoy this run. To take it all in. To feel Kate’s spirit and strength guiding me and propelling me forward. And I did ‘take it all in’, as best I could, but crossing the half-maraton point, I struggled and the last 5-6 kilometres were simply about finishing and putting one foot in front of the other. I couldn’t even feel disappointed about the pace I was setting, or stress about the time slipping away on my watch. I was in survival mode and focussed on doing anything I could to get to the finish line.

It was painful. It was a matter of reminding myself that my mind is stronger than I think it is. It was tricking my body to take one more step and distracting myself from how bad my legs felt.

It reminded me of all I have been through.
It reminded me of all Kate has been through.

It was too much, but I had no choice but to push through. (Really there is no other way to get to the finish line).

Many people had a challenging run at Boston this year. Even the elites posted times slower than usual. It was warm and there was a slight head-wind. I don’t think I can blame my performance on either. I knew I was slightly under-trained going in to the race. Grief is not a good companion to marathon training. But I did put the work in that I could. I did get out the door all winter – and I logged the miles – ran the hills – did the pick ups and tempo runs. I just didn’t have it this year.

As many of you know, I’d be typically disappointed with not reaching the goal I had set for my finishing time. This year, I was fine with what happened and how I did. I felt proud.

I have no idea what my future holds. I have no idea when I’ll find peace again. I have no idea when I will no longer cry every day, or wake up every morning thinking of Kate. Maybe never.

What running has always taught me. What sport has taught me, is that I am strong.  I can achieve what I set out to do. I can suffer and recover. I can push through pain. I can persevere. I don’t back down from adversity.

These are also lessons Kate taught me. She also taught me not to forget to smile.

I crossed the finish line at Boston and I did just that – smiled and threw my arms up at the air.

Julie

Running For A Reason #fightlikeagirl

A few weeks ago I was asked to interview for a local newspaper. The piece was focussed around International Women’s Day #IWD2016. It was an honour to be asked. It was a difficult interview to do. The author was limited to a 650+ word count and I wasn’t sure how she would tell ‘my story’ in that space. I think Bhavana (Gopinath) did a good job of condensing our 2 hour conversation. She describes me as a mother, advocate, and athlete. I think those three nouns describe me well. Here is what I might add to the article:

Julie is in an incredible amount of pain and lives most days moment to moment. She can’t seem to process the tragic loss of Kate. She feels the shadow of her little girl with her at every turn. Every morning she opens Kate’s bedroom door and says ‘hello’. Every night she closes it again and blows her a kiss  ‘goodnight’. Kate is there when Julie sleeps, and she is the first thing she thinks of when she wakes.

Julie finds peace and empowerment in supporting other parents to navigate and survive the complexity and frustration of a medical system, and community care that are not structured to support medically complex and fragile children like Kate. She wants to be a voice for change, and as she gets stronger she will continue to seek out the right opportunities to do that. Opportunities that are real, and where people within the system are dedicated to real change. 

Julie doesn’t want Kate’s death to be simply accepted. She would like to see learning happen, and the opportunity for growth of knowledge and skill in assessing, managing, and treating medically complex children.  She knows Kate’s death comes with a heavy lesson, and that one day there will be a better treatment for SIFD and mitochondrial disease, possibly even a cure. 

Julie runs because that is where she feels strong – and where she also feels pain. Her sweat conceals her tears. The burning in her lungs and in her legs reminds her of what Kate had to endure and her strength. She listens to music that inspired her all along Kate’s journey. Her running partners remind her of the people who have rallied around her family, and that she is not alone. Running in solitude gives her peace and the opportunity to live a few of the lessons Kate taught her – strength, endurance, living her best life.

 

On May 28th, 6 weeks after I run the 120th edition of the Boston Marathon , I will run the 42.2 kilometres of the Ottawa Marathon as part of Team MitoCanada.

This is one of my steps in building Kate’s legacy.

Team MitoCanada Ottawa will run in honour of Kate this year. Our trademark “Team MITO” shirts will be pink, Kate’s favourite colour. Over 100+ runners will participate in the 2k, 5k, 10k, half-marathon and marathon events to raise awareness and money for mitochondrial disease. All money raised at #runOttawa2016 will be presented on behalf of MitoCanada to the Children’s Hospital of Eastern Ontario (CHEO) Research Institute as they pursue research into SIFD and mitochondrial disease.

If you would like to participate as a runner, and help us fundraise toward our goal of $42,200, we would love to have you.

To donate to Team MitoCanada Ottawa Race Weekend, please visit my #runOttawa2016 fundraising page.

#fightlikeagirl

 

Running around the 5k race course at Ottawa Race weekend 2014.

Running around the 5k race course at Ottawa Race weekend 2014.

IMG_1520

Team Drury – Team MitoCanada Ottawa Race Weekend 2014

 

Julie

Extra Reading

I’ve been blogging for CHEO Moms and Dads this month. Check out the latest at:

http://cheomoms.com/parenting/holidays-and-special-events/

 

A shout out and very appreciative thank you to my friend Louise Kinross of Bloom for the wonderful article published in the most recent edition. Louise tells a bit of my story as a special needs mom to a medically complex and fragile child, and how I cope with the day to day highs and lows.

http://issuu.com/hollandbloorview/docs/bloomwinter2013-web

 

Mitochondrial Disease Awareness Week 2012

Today marks the first day of Mitochondrial Disease Awareness Week 2012.

Until a few short years ago, I was like many of you, I had no idea what mitochondrial disease was. I suppose I would have guessed it had to do with energy – and would have guessed that because of my education in human kinetics and exercise physiology. However, mitochondrial disease itself would not have registered, and I certainly didn’t know anyone who had it.

And then my daughter was born.

KK is my (soon to be) 5 year old daughter. In infancy she was struck with mitochondrial disease. We did not know it then, but in fact KK was born with a recessive genetic and extremely rare (1 of 10 known cases worldwide) form of mitochondrial disease. So rare that she was the first identified case and there is no medical literature in existance about her disease – though that is soon to change with a highly anticipated article in the medical journal Blood this fall. (Don’t worry, I’ll let you know when it comes out. There may be a post about it)  🙂

FACT: Mitochondrial Disease is very difficult to diagnose. (In KK’s case it took 4 years and that is considered typical).

FACT: Mitochondrial Disease is thought to occur in anywhere from 1 in 6000 to 1 in 4000 people. Scirentists, doctors and researchers differ on the exact number as incidence is difficult to report since diagnosis is so difficult.

Mitochondrial disease affects mainly children, but is also showing up in the adult population. Mitochondrial diseases are a group of disorders caused by dysfunctional mitochondria, the organelles that generate energy for the cell. Mitochondria are found in every cell of the human body except red blood cells.

There are many forms of mitochondrial disease – similar to the fact that there are many types of cancers. Mitochondrial disease is although thought to be the cause of other diseases such as multiple sclerosis, alzheimer’s and some forms of cancer.  In KK’s case, she was initially thought to have a phenotype of Myoneurogenic gastrointestinal encephalopathy (MNGIE). That was her ‘working diagnosis’ or best diagnosis for at least 2 years after visiting specialists in Canada and in the US. We now know she does not have MNGIE.

FACT: Symptoms of mitochondrial disease include poor growth, loss of muscle coordination, muscle weakness, visual problems, hearing problems, learning disabilities, heart disease, liver disease, kidney disease, gastrointestinal disorders, respiratory disorders, neurological problems, autonomic dysfunction, and dementia.

KK’s medical document lists the following conditions: Global developmental delay – delayed myelination on MRI – Sensorineural hearing loss (profound) – Cyclical vomiting + and hemodynamic instability with episodes of unexplained illness and pain + acute hypoglycemia – Sideroblastic anemia – Nephrocalcinosis and hypercalciurea – Chronic constipation – Immunodeficiency (Hypogammaglobulinemia) – Post-anesthesia complications – Spinal syringomyelia (syrinx) – Osteopenia – Pili Torti

Although research is ongoing, there are limited treatments and there is no cure.

There is no cure, but we can work together to get there!

I am now a member and committee chair for communications for a Canadian charity dedicated to raising awareness, providing support and supporting research for mitochondrial disease. MitoCanada is actively involved in Mitochondrial Disease Awareness Week. There are several events across Canada, including a new one this year – Light Your Porch Green – which has the simple concept of changing your porch lights to green ones for the week. Simple and hopefully effective in increasing awareness and increasing attention for this devastating disease.

Many Canadian cities (Hamilton, Calgary, Ottawa) have official proclamations declaring the 3rd week of September “Mitochondrial Disease Awareness Week”.

I also organize Team MitoCanada for Ottawa. Team MitoCanada is a charity team of incredible athletes from all levels of running, cycling, and triathlon who compete in events to raise money and awareness for mitochondrial disease. At last year’s Ottawa Race Weekend, Team MitoCanada raised $18,000 for mitochondrial disease research. This year we’ll have 200 athletes at Race Weekend and will have an even more ambitious goal. If you plan to run at Race Weekend 2012 I would love to hear from you!

If you have questions about mitochondrial disease, I am happy to answer them. There is a wealth of information on the internet, but I caution you about where you look. Reputable resources (with good links) are:

www.mitocanada.org

www.umdf.org

Light Your Porch Green this week! Shine a light on ‘mito’.

Running for a Reason

I have been writing for various blogs and print media on a casual basis for the past 2 years. Many of my articles capture the theme of Kate’s story. Some focus on my current passion of distance running.  In this recent guest blog for iRun, I combine the two as I describe my journey toward running for Team MitoCanada.

http://www.irun.ca/blog/index.php/irun-for-team-mitocanada/

I also had a an opportunity to do an interview with Mark Sutcliffe, columnist, blogger, author and publisher of iRun Magazine. Here is the interview podcast. My talk with Mark begins around minute 21.

http://www.autopod.ca/podcasts/chum/12/6622/runningshow-april14.mp3

 

Julie