KK’s 5th Birthday

Birthday’s are a day to celebrate. Children especially love birthdays. They are huge milestones for little ones, signifying growing up, gaining more independance, learning new things, becoming a big boy or a big girl. Parties and presents! 🙂

I feel like I should be writing a big long post dedicate to Kate’s 5th birthday today, telling you about all she is on this special day. Especially turning 5, which seems to be a big step out of being a ‘baby’ and evolving into a ‘big girl’. I want to write about everything – and I’m at loss for words. I feel scattered today, like I am unsure how to celebrate – unsure how to make this day significant and special for Kate. I started with the basics this morning, trying to have her understand that she is 5 – that today is her birthday. The concept is lost on her, and that makes me sad. It makes it hard to celebrate. At the same time, I don’t want her lack of comprehension to keep us from celebrating her. I want her to know she is special, and I want to make a big deal about her birthday, but I feel stalled – like I don’t know what to do.

I’m open to suggestions here. Comments please.

This morning I am considering quickly baking some cupcakes and running them up to the preschool for lunch. Would that help celebrate and make her feel special? Certainly tonight we’ll have a family dinner, and her grandparents will be here from PEI to help celebrate – that is a special thing. Saturday morning she’ll have a small group come for a birthday party. Kate will love that there are familiar faces coming to her house. Will she understand it is her birthday party? Is it important that she understands? Will she want to blow out candles this year – or will I do it for her again this year?

I am working on feeling settled today and being mindful. It’s a big task. I feel unsettled and upset and…sad. And those are all emotions you should not have on your child’s birthday. At the same time, birthdays shouldn’t be so hard to celebrate for moms. Brian and I were recalling Jack’s birthdays last night, and how special they have been – the themes we had – the planning – the presents he hoped for – the long list of friends who were invited – making invitations together. We wondered together when Kate would enjoy the same excitement about her birthday, or if she will.

If I am really honest (isn’t that what blogs are for?), I would also tell you that not celebrating and making a big deal of Kate on her birthday would be upsetting. The news of Kate’s rare disease less than a year ago, and the information that is slowly trickling in about how it might progress and impact her life make me acutely aware that each year Kate is healthy and happy is a blessing. I don’t want to miss an opportunity to celebrate a milestone.

So, off to buy cupcake mix, icing and some cute sprinkles. Feeling guilty for not being more organized about how to celebrate the day. Feeling a little lost about how to make this day special for Kate. Hoping for a burst of inspiration. Knowing intuitively as her mom that celebrating the day is a must.

 

Julie

 

2 Comments

  1. Hey Julie,
    Go ahead and feel all the feelings you have and be ok with that. Then go out and do what needs to be done. My mantra: “Think bad thoughts; do good deeds!”. Kate will learn what birthdays are about by experiencing them and practicing them. Have “mini b-day parties” for all of her dolls today and for the next few days. It will come! Just like so many other things have. I know you know this; it’s just hard some times.

    Kell

    Reply

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